Just One More Pause to Inspiration Week

I’m so tired.  I didn’t get much sleep but I was so tired the whole time.  It’s a weird space to be in.

I met a new client yesterday late afternoon.  He was so quirky.  Normally I would feel more comfortable with quirky but I am in such a bad space right now. All I keep thinking a about is how he seemed nervous in a bad way.  He is in my home and will continue to work with me in my home office and I lay awake worrying if he was a scary quirky person. Damn I hate change. It can really mess with me.

I know I am just starting to become irrational and suspicious because I’m overwhelmed.  For the first time in months I raged at my husband.  I lost control for a few minutes right up till I began slamming doors.  When the urge to throw and break things entered my awareness, I knew I had gone into bad territory. I went to a quite place, and breathed while telling myself it isn’t his fault till the rage dissipated.

And it’s tough for him too.  He reacts back initially because he’s being raged at and it takes some calming down on his part to realize it’s not the woman he loves doing it.  When I reassured myself long enough that it’s not REALLY his fault and I am just targeting him for everything I am dealing with I apologized.  I should never treat him or anyone else that way. I hate that anyone I love should experience that.

It’s funny, I would protect others if I saw them being treated that way by anyone else.

Promise to myself:  I will not let this minor set back keep me from finishing Inspiration Week.  2 more posts to go.  I will finish what I started.

Promise to myself: I will be extra patient with things and kind to myself.  I will remember that I am doing the best I can with where I am at right now.

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