Charlie is really trying to dominate this situation. I catch him telling me how hopeless things are going to be, I am too old to start over, Of course it didn’t work out, blah blah blah, and I feel his anxiety for the uncertainty vying for position within me. My ears have started ringing but that’s ok, cause that’s as far as it’s gotten. I have had no clumsiness, anger, and shocker… I was able to sleep last night. I want to cry with relief just for that fact alone!
The mindful breathing is working really well. It mostly halts the invasive thoughts. I do surprisingly keep coming back to 1 thought that seems to be louder than Charlie’s crap, there are so many people in this world who have by far more to endure or overcome in their lives than I can even fathom. This inspires me to get my gratitude for what is good in my life jump started. Come Monday I will have an assignment for myself to get my focus on gratitude. Don’t have a master plan yet. But come Monday I will.