Made the decision to go off Lithium.  I haven’t told anyone yet, because I don’t want their reaction to affect my perception of the effects.  4 days in and I do notice some discomfort such as a nagging headache, physical jerk reactions (mild) and more intense ear ringing.  My bipolar symptoms aren’t intensifying however.  Strangely unlike other times, I have been able to notice tension, breathe through it and bring my thoughts to relaxing.

A huge help is going to audible sermons on anger and forgiveness. Or happy music.  I am also continuing daily with Happify, which does reinforce positivism and seems to really be working.

So, I figure I will wait a month before I say anything to my husband.  If he doesn’t notice any changes by then, I can in fact do this on my own.  I will stick with the anxiety med only because I am not quite ready to let go of that yet.  Don’t need to throw everything out all at once.

I will be writing as I progress if needed since I can’t talk to anyone just yet.


Holding Myself Accountable

Challenge: Meditate for 5 minutes

Result: My mind wouldn’t stay focused but I was able to maintain a lot of mind awareness of my physical sensations and was able to push back any incoming negative self talk. I say progress 🙂

Next Challenge: Rack my memory for a list of things I am proud of


See The Beauty

A picture I took as we drove through a tunnel at Yosemite.

Reminds me of all our fun road trips including a family adventure ending up in Oregon by flipping a coin to determine which way to turn followed by eating at Portland’s best pizza place.  Or driving up what looked like an interesting road, which ended at a  huge dried up lake bed and right in the middle of that lake we had a picnic. Or heading to a mountain we saw with snow to play. Or stopping at every tourist attraction we drove by.  Best road games played. Best conversations. Happiest memories were always in a car. I recall my son exclaiming after a day of a road excursions “This was the best day ever!!!” We still do road trips, just not as much fun without kids.  My daughter has lots planned for us all once the kids are a little older.

yosemite-drive


Necessary Affirmation

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